Oh no, pretty mama, what you gonna do in those shoes?

God knows you're lookin' good enough,
But you're so smooth and the world's so rough
You might have somethin' to lose
Oh, no, pretty mama, what you gonna
Do in those shoes?



I'm something of a pack rat. I have a very difficult time getting rid of anything that I think I might want in the future. I've purged every time I've moved, but there are certain boxes that I'll drag from place-to-place until I'm old and grey. One (oh, who am I kidding, there is more than one) of them is full of old dancing gear. I've always known that I'd want to have some of that stuff to look back at for purposes of nostalgia. In fact, I've always known that it is VITAL to my personal history to hang on to the relics of my past.

My birthday is coming up, so that might be why I've been inspired to look through some of my old stuff. I always have a weird sort of confusion/denial when I really think about how long I've been at this. I was 20 when I started (as a summer job that was supposed to last 2 months), and I will be 35 on March 1st. It just doesn't seem possible for that much time to have passed. I'm not one of these people who moans about birthdays and laments my lost youth.........maybe because I still feel young, or maybe because I just don't think of life that way....its hard to say, really, probably a combination of both.

I stayed up all night the other night thinking about life when I first started dancing, some things that I hadn't thought about in years. Thinking about those stories, it almost felt like I was thinking about someone other than myself. Of course I know it was me and I remember it all in amazing detail considering the circumstances, but the tales really do feel like something out of another person's life.

I guess that's how it goes. If I wasn't almost entirely different after 15 years I think it would indicate a severe case of arrested development (which I've been accused of! haha).

I really ought to make a list of the stories I want to tell so that I won't forget things as they come to me. Well, it's my blog, so I guess I'll just do that right here. ;-) These aren't in chronological order really, and this is just a rough idea of what I'd like to write about. Some are whole stories, others just small details that need to be incorporated *clears throat*

*WalMart panties and auditioning at Joker's Wild

*My friends and old JW crew: Tawny, Sunny (and her husband Siefer), Janeane, Tasty (and her husband the baker), Missy, Gary, Me me(sic), Molly, Sheila, Taboo and her sister ______, Jimmy and his parents, John Henry the bouncer, Jenny with the long legs, Michelle(oh how frustrating when you can't remember names......argh)Niki, Rockelle (sic), Buzzy, Shannon,

*Sunny stories--Godzilla the pitbull from hell, pickle juice, pushups and dancing in those thigh high boots

*Janeane stories--having a baby at the carnival, her young Canadian boyfriend Noel and her much older ex-husband who she was still technically married to

*Tawny stories--a bittersweet tale of a very beautiful girl, but a lot of funny shit too, drinking Long Island Iced Tea like a mind-eraser in the bathroom before we turned 21

*Dancing to wildly inappropriate music (which sometimes had to be pointed out, lol)

*Mud wrestling, oil wrestling, and foxy boxing

*Getting involved with the biker element (and naively putting myself in danger in the process)

*The crazy lady who sold "goods"

*Not being able to eat naked at first (not so much a story as a bizarre detail), Rax, the donut shop

*The costumes we wore, the shoes, pre-platform and body spray days,and the jukebox

*Sam taking a wild piss right in the middle of the bar

*My own little private party business (of which there are at least six great stories)

*Having after work privileges at a couple of little bars

*Staying up all night doing blow and playing with highly inappropriate people

*Attempting to hide my secret life

I'm sure I will have an infinite number of ideas to add to this list, but if anyone out there reading this is interested..............pick one and I'll tell it. Otherwise I may or may not get around to it. I have been meaning to blog more regularly, so perhaps this is a good way to get started. I'm very excited to have two people following my blog, and that inspires me for sure.

Herding Cats

Someone recently asked if I thought strippers should unionize and traditionalize (is that a word? dunno, don't care, haha).

I don’t think that strippers should unionize, etc. I do think it would be appropriate for large chains to offer hourly pay and insurance. But I can also see where that would cut into the freedom we have in this job. I could get on board with having as a choice, but I do not support the idea of it on a widespread level. And frankly, getting strippers to unionize would be like herding cats.

Being an independent contractor has it’s pros and cons. When done properly, it gives us the freedom to work when we want, keep our finances to ourselves, and pay (or not pay) our taxes on our own as we see fit. But if a club is going to treat its girls like employees anyway, with schedules and rules and constant bs, they should do the right thing and pay us hourly and offer benefits like any other job would do.

Instead, clubs do what they want anyway, whether they are a corporate chain or a hole in the wall. The arbitrary way they go about things is unlike any other industry I know.

Ideally, my preference is a club where they check your ID to prove you are of legal age and then leave you alone to make your money. This, to me, is the ultimate definition of “independent contractor.” Obviously, there should be basic rules and regulations, but the scheduling, fees, micromanaging, etc. is bullshit because they are calling us independent contractors so they don’t have to put us on a payroll, but want to treat us like employees in every other way. I recently left a club like that. They had us paying out roughly 1/4 of what we’d make in a night. And for their part of things they could barely keep toilet paper in the bathroom. It certainly wasn’t a fair give and take scenario.

Now I work at club where I have a lot more freedom. No house fees, no schedule, just normal tipouts to dj, bar, and house mom, and basic, reasonable rules.

I fully support the freewheelin' way of doing things. I love the idea of packing a bag and getting in the car and driving and driving and driving, and then working wherever I land. If we unionized and everyone had to be employees of their clubs, it would make that lovely fantasy impossible. And I have friends who really do work as travelling strippers and it would be the end of them showing up out of the blue and going to work that night, which would take away the very freedom that I love about stripping. It’s worth putting up with bizarre rules and nuttiness to have that kind of autonomy.

Yes, despite the way stripping has shown up in pop culture in recent years, I still want us to be outside of society, doing it our way. There's nothing quite like walking into a strange bar and being the exotic new girl for a few nights. It takes you out of yourself and puts you on a stage where you can be anyone you'd like, take on a new persona, and be as free as a bird..........